remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
