She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
