so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
