i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He kissed a someone with a penis
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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