Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize