So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
