idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
