ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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