Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She's the barista slut.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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