ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize