It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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