I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
