we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
