Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
