some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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