I want to stick my p in your. b.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
