ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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