you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
