listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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