Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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