My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
