I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
