we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
