I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
