I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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