We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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