Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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