the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
