My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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