if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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