The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
