We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
