She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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