are you still at the devil's house?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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