ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize