I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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