He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
