I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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