what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
