We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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