it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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