The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
