you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
