is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
There's even glitter on my cock...
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