We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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