omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
