So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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