So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
