Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
