I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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