Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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