Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Pappa wants mamma naked
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
