you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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