that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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