The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
