dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If its not for food we ain't going out.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
