I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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