Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
