i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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