You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
