Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
