he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
