My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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