Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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