Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
