who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
