you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
