I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
