Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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