Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
